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April 26, 2013



Oh my goodness I laughed so hard my stomach hurts. Thank you for making my night less shitty.


So have you taken to keeping a small recorder in your pocket (next to the flask)? Or did you actually commit all of this to memory? No matter--this style of post is excellent...I hope there will be more!


"Awful Missing Link" is the name of my new band.


"6. Thank God there's a mirror on the wall above this booth. Let's tune out these Armenians and study the reflection. Ooh, wait. That's actually a very sexy face you just made. Do it again. Ok, do it again, but this time, pout the lips just a little bit more. Oh my God, so sexy. I'll take a picture. Ugh, if only I could crop these shitbags out of the picture. Shit. What did they order again??"

I heart you.


FUN!! It's like we're getting all your least favorite characters in one post!

sue j

Haha the cops are the worst, we give them free meals, too! They're usually so rude!!

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