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August 08, 2012



I'm one of those ignorant dining customers - love excellent wait staff who can teach me about food. Used to order my steaks "As rare as you can ..." before a wonderful waiter taught me "Pittsburg is what you want - sometimes it's called 'blue rare.'" My steaks are now always perfect.

So I tell my friend (I would have call her barely past acquaintance - she called me her 'best friend,' though) about filet mignon cooked Pittsburg. We go to a good steak house - order up - they're damn good.

A couple of months later - we go back to the same place - order up our filets - I ask for it to be cooked Pittsburg. Waiter had never heard of it. I said 'blue rare' - she was unfamiliar with that term as well. I assumed she was new to waiting in a steak house - told her to tell the chef 'Pittsburg' and they'd know what to do. I was polite - the waitress was polite.

Interjects my *ahem* 'friend': "You really should know what that is. It's pretty basic."

This 'friend' hadn't heard of cooking a steak that way before I'd explained it to her. I'd never heard of it until a couple of months before - I'm damn near 50 - and she's five years older than me. WTF??

The waiter returned to our table to say the chef understood what we wanted. Told us the restaurant even had a special grill strictly for cooking steaks that way. Apologized for not knowing what it was - said she'd just begun waiting tables to help her kids get through college. My 'friend' rolled her eyes.

I smiled - said "I doubt it's a common order - but they're great if you like rare steak. You might recommend it for people who ask for really-really rare." I was completely humiliated by my friend's behavior.

Think that's not enough? She returned her steak not once - but twice. Mine was cooked perfectly - her steak looked fine to me.

The second time the steak was brought out - I told the waiter if my 'friend' returned it again she had my permission to spit in it. My friend looked shocked - the waitress laughed.

The manager came over to make sure the final steak was okay. My 'friend' rolled her eyes at him, too - said "I guess it will do." I told the manager that mine had been perfect - and my 'friend' wouldn't dare return another or I would personally spit in her food. He laughed, my friend sneered - I smirked at her.

I ended the 'friendship' over her bullshit one-upmanship condescension towards that waiter. People suck.


I had my first serving job at a CPK as well. Nothing like watching over-privileged, bleached-out soccer moms pick away at the half Chinese Chicken Salad they're sharing to make you want to stick your head in the pizza oven.


Another interesting, insightful, and very well written post... I anxiously await the next installment.


Sweaty Noel--the Bitter Waiter did not have to evolve a style of bitchy wittiness; he has always been this way. What it is, in fact, is that now it's a matter of Christmas-Day-level generosity whether he feigns politeness for the benefit of complete strangers.

Bitter Waiter--what I would like to know is, if these two idiots were offended by the term "ladies", what the hell would they have preferred? (I know what they DESERVED, but what they would have preferred is probably a wholly different term.) Idiots.


These are the type of people that I dream about finding out where they work or socialize and make life a living hell for. These are the type of people that should have been aborted.


its amazing that there really are people like that out obnoxious.


Haha! Love the Jem and the Holograms line! Major disdain for the two "ladies".

Legal tender

20/20 rerun with your segment
Prepare for idiots with the hate mail...
Ironically the same folk that these posts
are about & rightfully so...
From a bartender of 10 years


I've identified myself as a feminist for over 3 decades and yet I'd like to take those two women and bang their heads together. How stupid can you be. There's nothing degrading or objectifying about being called "ladies", especially in that context. That is the common vernacular of the service industry (not just waiting, but anything involving service). Clearly these women aren't very intelligent. It's not like you called them "girls", and even if you did, it's nothing to get your knickers in a twist over. They're just looking for something to complain about. Thank God your manager knows when to dismiss a complaint. I was a waitress for years when I was in theatre and Lord, was I bitter...I still have nightmares that I'm waiting, no lie. So I sympathize completely!!!!

fed up

Yes, sad to say, but years of waiting tables will do this to a person.


Lol, pick a fight with the dude in suspenders and neon yellow tie about being degraded, oh the irony. I'm sure there was a pretty good chance they were living off their husbands too, taking a real stand for female power


Susie and Jeannie shared a condescending smile, a smile that my 2nd grade teacher gave me when I brought my drawings of Jem and the Holograms for show-and-tell.

Oh you...

Sweaty Noel

I only wish that I had managed to groom myself into the style of bitchy wittiness that you eventually evolved to before I quit waiting tables. So many people deserve to be put in their place. It is up to people like us to put them there. It's for the good of America, y'all!


I once had a woman tell me she had to go home to take a nerve pill because of me :)


That name adorable.


Jeeeeesus what a bitch!!!!! You poor thing. No wonder you're such a cunt yourself ;)


We are kindred spirits. Must be the shared Oklahoma upbringing (I also had too much positive support).

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