A soccer mom and her screaming five-year-old recently stopped by to ruin my day during a hectic lunch shift.
"IT'S...HIS...BIRTHDAY!!!!!" mom cooed.
"Happy birthday." I forced myself.
"HMPH," he whined. "I didn't want to COME HERE!!!"
"Wasn't my first choice either," I said. Mom smiled blankly at me as if I'd just paid her a compliment. Throughout lunch she did little more than text, reply "That's nice dear" to her son, and reapply make-up as if her job were to give makeovers to the blind.
She ordered a small fajita salad, and her son ordered the kid's cheese enchilada with a side of black beans. When the food arrived, the birthday boy threw a fit.
"I...DON'T...LIKE...YELLOW...CHEESE!!"
"That's nice dear," Mom said while practicing her oral prowess on her lipstick tube.
"I'M NOT EATING THIS!"
"Oh honey," Mom said. "But you love cheese enchiladas."
"NOT TODAY I DON'T. I DON'T....WANT THIS! AND I HATE BLACK BEANS!"
"Well honey, mommy is in a hurry and we don't have time to order you something else. What if I put the black beans inside the enchilada?"
Brilliant. Separately he hates them, but together he'll love them.
"NO!"
"Well honey, we are not wasting food," she said in "Mommy's serious" tone. "What about all those hungry kids who don't have any food?
"SCREW THOSE HUNGRY KIDS!!!!!" he screamed.
With that, Mommy immediately asked me for the bill and a to-go box.
"You're not eating another thing until you've finished that plate, whether it's here or at home," she said while simultaneously smiling at me and glaring at him.
Silence. Finally.
And then.
"Mommy?" he asked.
"Yes?"
"What about my free birthday dessert?"
"Not on your life," she said. And with that, they were gone. And because he was technically entitled to a free kid's sundae as part of his kid's meal, I made sure the birthday dessert didn't go to waste.
That was a good way for the mom to discipline her bratty kid. Letting him realized never to waste food because there are kids out there who doesn't have anything to eat. Let him know how it feels like without anything to eat.
Posted by: Brad Fallon | February 17, 2011 at 12:29 AM
What a brat! Perhaps if his mother paid more attention to him, instead of texting, he wouldn't need her negative attention.
Posted by: Darla | February 05, 2011 at 06:41 PM
I think I like this mom. She didn't make everyone suffer because her kid was an asshat.
Posted by: Jessica | February 04, 2011 at 04:00 PM
Kids say the darndest things! :0)
If I'd spoken like that my mother would have made me walk home.
Posted by: Pam G. | February 04, 2011 at 02:22 PM
Damn kid doesn't deserve dessert other than maybe thrown on his face! Opps, did I just write that?
Posted by: Milia | February 04, 2011 at 01:10 PM
I'm getting "SCREW THOSE HUNGRY KIDS!!!!!" made into a t-shirt.
Posted by: Christie | February 04, 2011 at 12:29 PM
Just when I had given up on "parents these days"...
Posted by: SL | February 04, 2011 at 12:29 PM
I would have slapped the shit out of him.
Posted by: Chris | February 04, 2011 at 12:13 PM
you sure do eat a lot of free food and drink a lot of free drinks. you're kinda my hero!!
Posted by: Pissed Waitress | February 04, 2011 at 11:44 AM