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January 13, 2011



I have also worked in the industry for nearly a decade. I had just about had it up to HERE with a pompous, arrogant, very full of self entitlement asshole one night. After being as condescending as possible with his dinner order and modifying every. single. thing. that touched the table, I asked about dessert and coffee. "Nooooooooooo.... but I Would take some room tempature water." (He'd had wine until then) A little note here. In my restaurant we have chilled water, or the tap water that has been piped straight from hell. No ┬┤in betweens'. I brought the man hot water that I had added ice to and stirred to melt it. He said it was too hot. I explained (again, I did tell him the first time and he waved me away dismissively like it was My problem) there wasn't any exact science and made my apologies. I then brought him chilled water I had added some hot water to. It was too cold. I revisited the reason behind this, excused myself. I returned with the following:
One teapot of hot water
One teapot of chilled water
One glass of ice
One empty glass to mix the water in
A spoon
And finally a glass from which to drink. I set this dazzling array before him with Vana White showwomanmanship. He looked at me disdainfully and asked "Now WHAT am I supposed to do with this??" I said "My best efforts failed to produce the tempature that your tongue finds pleasing, and as only you can know that specific tempature, I have brought you all you'll need. Best of luck in your endeavors." With that I dropped the bill and walked off, ignoring his outraged (and incoherent) sputters.


Wooow... less than 100 comments!!... I have to take advantage of this and write my comment on your blog... ok... what should I write??... mmm, I don't think my criminal history would help me gain your sympathy, uh?? haha... in any case, I just want you to know that I'm sure you're a fabulous blogger and writer... so, thanks for that.. now I know I'm not a robot. well, this comment is getting too long to be read, so i'll stop now...


I can't believe you got suspended for that. Those assclowns had it coming. Apparently common sense is at premium these days.




I laughed my head off at this:

HIPSTER 1: You do know what a latte is, man?

ME: Sure do. Had one this morning

You're the master of comedy Chase!

Love ya!


I would have high-fived you on that one! That was a GREAT idea!

" So here's an ample supply of milk in case you want to try and create foam yourselves." <-- I laughed out loud when I read that!

Awesome post!

Bagel Fairy

Jesus Christ. Get out of there, girl.


A two week suspension seems like a harsh punishment for something so trivial.
Great post. Thanks!


Heaven forbid they want something like Mexi food, also.

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