1. "Are you the server?"
No, bitch, Halloween came early and I decided to go as a disgruntled employee trick-or-treating at my local Mexican restaurant.
2. "Is this flavored tap water?"
Despite the typically verbose nature of my rants, I feel this particular question needs no additional commentary.
3. "Did you see the car crash outside?"
Yeah, it's weird, I have these visions of what's going on in the outside world when I'm inside a barely lit building at night.
4. "I didn't see it on the menu, but you all have calamari, right?"
Yes, we feel it would benefit our sales tremendously if we left the popular items off the menu but still offered them to our customers.
5. "My son wants a light green crayon to color his kid's menu, can you find one?"
Do I look like the fucking Reading Rainbow to you? The odds of me searching through crayon boxes at the host stand for a light green crayon aren't nearly as good as the odds of you pulling one out of your fat ass.
OK Chase, this one came at a great time. Both my co-worker Merrie and I got some stellar restroom questions this past weekend.
Mine: Do you have a ladies room? Uh, nope. We have a men's room, and a room for trannies but none for ladies. Or if we have one I'm not gonna tell you, go find it on your own. How about asking where is the ladies room you stupid terrorist? Go back to Canadia and forget to tip at home.
Merrie: Do you have indoor plumbing? And this was her response - tip be damned - "I think that is an intensely personal question but it was removed several years ago." Of course it took the redneck dumbasses a couple of moments to get the joke seeing as how when offered condiments they are thinking pharmeceuticals... natch.
Have a good week in the profession we call kissing ass for money!
Aly
Posted by: Al | April 07, 2008 at 05:54 PM