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March 19, 2008

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Bitter Waiter

Damn, Aly, you need a blog of your own! That was brilliant. Any time you want to be a Guest Blogger, let me know. Just kidding. This site is all about me.

Al

Why do I have a feeling Miss Brittany's goal in life is to be in a Faster Pussycat video? Need to tell you one of my personal favorites in a top five of asshole customers ... I work in an outside beach joint which gives small little fuckers (excuse me - children) crayons. I just adore the parents who just beam down at their mini Picasso's scribbling all over the tables instead of the giant butcher paper placemats we have provided for obviously NOT THEIR CHILDREN. When I offer the budding artist a new placemat the parent inevitably declines and says something to the effect about not discouraging Jackoff Pollack's creativity by staying in the lines. Fuck staying in the lines, let's stay off the damn furniture! Oh, and thanks for that 10% tip so after you leave I can spend 30 minutes scrubbing off the masterpiece with Lysol for the next time you choose to come in to torment me because "You were just the nicest server we have had on Spring Break in a long time, Thanks!" Yeah, Bite Me. I guess you could call me bitter waitress today.

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