1. The frozen margarita...I've seen that sometimes served in a martini glass. Does that mean you all, like, shake it frozen in a martini shaker??
Yes. Any liquid poured into a martini glass must first be shaken in a martini shaker. Your ability to pick up on details is astute and rare.
2. We want to sit outside. Is it hot on the patio? (asked right after coming in from the outdoor parking lot)
Yes, we keep the heaters on during the day in the summer months. Also, I'm glad you asked, because to clarify we do use a different kind of natural air in the patio and a different one in the parking lot, so even though they're both within 30 feet of each other, yes, the temperatures often vary drastically, you world-changing thinker, you.
3. Don't you live in North Carolina??
Yes, I just commute on the weekends to this shitty Mexican bar in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles. I'll bet you gave everyone in your high school's Honor Society a run for their money!
4. I'd like to send this back because it was overcooked. Can you take if off my check but box it up for me? I can feed it to my snakes.
Yes, we never charge people for meals they order if another person/being eats them. Say, for instance, you ordered a steak that was overcooked and wanted it taken off your check, but also let your husband eat the steak. You didn't actually eat the steak, your husband did, so of course we wouldn't charge for that. Also I have come delicious magic beans to sell to you intellectual revolutionaries
5. Any chance I could get the rest of this margarita in a to-go cup?
No. You can get a FULL brand new one in a to-go cup with our restaurant's name on it, for no extra charge! If anyone asks, tell them I was your server! We can clean up the sides of the Hollywood Freeway together, and I won't resent you at all, you Rhodes Scholar.