A recurring feature in which I highlight the zingers that spring from my mouth after refreshing my flask mid-shift.
Fat, Whiny Armenian Woman: Vie don'tch you guys have PIZZA?? I vant PIIIIIZZA! Uh!
Her Boyfriend: (to her) VOSH KOSH TISH TOSH VEH HEHHHHRL HEERLL ERL LISHKISH MOSH!!! PEH PEH PEH PEH!
Fat, Whiny Armenian Woman: (to him) NO! (to me) Vell I don't like eenie-thing on your menu. What do you recommend?
Me: Going to another restaurant.