While waiting for a pair of peroxide blonde cougars to pay their tab, I stood within close enough proximity to hear how the two penny-pinchers were going to divvy up a simple bill that only included two margaritas and one quesadilla.
Now, to the average diner, the obvious solution would be to split the bill in half.
Not so with these two, whom (despite their Botox and fake breasts) looked less Malibu Barbie and more Dr. Zaius from Planet of the Apes.
"Becky, I don't want to be difficult, but you drank all of your margarita and most of mine," Tina said. "You should pay most of the bill."
"True. Hmmm," Becky responded in (as) deep (of) thought (as possible). "But remember when you didn't come to my birthday party and said you'd buy me a round of drinks sometime?"
"You mean three years ago?!" Tina replied.
"Ugh. Fine, we'll split it," Becky said, defeated.
All this, over a bill that would have amounted to about $10 each. 'Tis the season.